The Year of Cheex

June 20,2007

2007-06-20T11:55:00.000-04:00

11:50 am 228 lbs.

20 minutes treadmill

March 23, 2007

2007-03-25T23:33:00.000-04:00

11:25 am 231 lbs.

March 13, 2007

2007-03-13T22:54:00.000-04:00

11:00 am 60 minutes walking

What a gorgeous day...

busy with the babies. Whew!

March 12, 2007

2007-03-12T14:08:00.001-04:00

1:50 pm 10 minutes modified Taebo Advance

4:15 pm 15 minutes walking

Spring Fever

2007-03-08T13:42:00.000-05:00

I suck.

I hate exercise so much. I keep thinking I'll go for a walk outside when it gets warmer, but that's like a month away. I am so sick of workout tapes. I just wanna start smoking again. I need something healthy and good that I can eat and get full from. Nothing I eat leaves me full unless I eat like way too much of it.

Damn food journal

2007-03-06T15:19:00.000-05:00

Tuesday.
Ok, this is what I had.
1 bowl of raisin bran w/skim milk and splenda(I usually have this every day)
1 diet coke
1 turkey sandwich w/light mayo, a bunch of pretzels(same every day), some of my kiddo's chips and salsa, grapes
1 thigh, 1 wing bbq chicken, approx. 15 roasted potatoes
1 diet coke
1 bowl raisin bran w/skim milk and splenda

March 2, 2007

2007-03-03T22:54:00.000-05:00

11:25 am 234lbs. ugh.

February 28, 2007

2007-02-28T22:00:00.000-05:00

Lemonades

"I feel like complete sh*t, Ferris."

I had 4 cookies tonight. Dangit, it's my husband's fault! He got the Girl Scout cookies out of the freezer and just left them on the counter. Come on! I've been very good, but I'm not that good! The cookies, on the other hand were GREAT! Of course, I haven't had a cookie since, well, I can't remember. I'm obsessing about food tonight, and I'm not sure I should go to the grocery after all..

February 26, 2007

2007-02-27T00:01:00.000-05:00

Oh lawdy I've been lazy...

..still dieting, but NO exercise. I know!

I started out so good!

I just gotta get outside and walk. Damn Old Man Winter.

One thing that's been going on here is the discussion of me going back to school. Yeah, I have two babies to take care of-huge job, BUT I am not otherwise employed at the moment and don't plan on being employed until the kids are in school. My husband works at the university here and gets a family discount. It's ridiculous for me to not take advantage of that. Also, if I ever want to have that third baby (a girl, named Naomi) we gonna need some more cash around here! And, I'm 30 years old....the education clock is ticking right along with my biological clock...if I'm gonna do it I'd better just get busy.

Recurring question: Why do I always have to do things the hard way?

February 23, 2007

2007-02-23T11:25:00.000-05:00

11:25 am 234 lbs. Down 14 lbs. total.

Can't Sleep

2007-02-21T01:01:00.000-05:00

I'm so bored. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I can't stand being in this house at night without my husband. Dang, I wish I'd had my mom come stay with me this week. Oh well. I'm having my new favorite midnight snack:

I found these on the shelf next to the little applesauce containers I buy every week for my kiddos. It's room temperature fruit sorbet! No fat. 100% vitamin C. Just freeze and eat! The raspberry is yummy. Haven't tried the strawberry yet. There's also a mango, I think. I love that it takes longer to eat one of these little cups because it's frozen and therefore feels like a decent snack. AND yay for me buying this instead of ice cream!

I'm such a nerd

2007-02-21T00:55:00.000-05:00

http://www.myheritage.com

February 19, 2007

2007-02-20T00:03:00.000-05:00

Hubby is out of town this week. Actually, he just left today, and I miss him already. Isn't that pitiful? Anyway, I'm dieting like crazy because I've not had time/energy to exercise, and I doubt I will be able to do much this week with him gone.

I'm pretty psyched that I'm down 12 lbs though. If I was smoking I'd be down twice that by now.

No wonder Frappuccinos are so frickin good...500+ calories?! Sheesh! Guess I'll be finding a new fav.

February 18, 2007

2007-02-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

11:00 pm 236 lbs.

February 16, 2007

2007-02-17T23:41:00.000-05:00

8:40 am 240 lbs.

Here's my snow

2007-02-15T16:23:00.000-05:00

2007-02-15T16:21:00.000-05:00

This is what came out of our driveway yesterday.

2007-02-15T16:16:00.000-05:00

I call this one "doggie tracks and yellow snow."

Snog

2007-02-15T15:11:00.000-05:00

Well, the Blizzard of '07 or "February Fury" as the news media calls it has totally zapped my will to live. This morning at like 4:30 I was up bf'ing (ok no, it means breastfeeding) baby #2, and I think I heard them saying we had snow-fog?

Well, ok. Maybe it's not that bad.

But, I've seriously been in this house since 7:00 Monday night with my 2 babies and my husband. You don't even know.

No working out this week to speak of. Maybe today. I said MAYBE! Don't pressure me, Self!

Am I even sane anymore?

Oye.

February 12, 2007

2007-02-12T22:31:00.000-05:00

10:20 pm 5 minutes, ab roller and squats

I just had to sleep today when my baby slept. He's still getting up twice a night.

*Yawn*

February 9, 2007

2007-02-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

10:00 am 240 lbs. down 8lbs. total

February 8, 2007

2007-02-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

2:05 pm, 25 minutes circuit aerobics.

OMG! I just heard on the news that Anna Nicole Smith just died! WTH?!

I miss you, Camel

2007-02-07T22:56:00.000-05:00

Excuses, excuses

2007-02-07T22:45:00.000-05:00

Well, the baby's been up every night since last Wednesday...several times a night. Of course, I've been exhausted all day long, and that's why I haven't exercised. I feel so guilty. Anyway, I think he's getting better. No fever today. Maybe he'll sleep all night tonight. I hope, I hope, I hope. I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll get off my heiny tomorrow. Hinee, hi-knee...whatever. Is it turd or terd? I never know.

My scales are screwy

2007-02-05T22:47:00.000-05:00

I weighed myself Saturday morning...get this 241. What is up? Have I been retaining water?

February 2, 2007

2007-02-02T11:57:00.000-05:00

10:30 am 246 lbs. Up 6 lbs. Barf.

WHAT is wrong with me?

The only ways I've lost weight in the past:
1. smoking instead of eating
2. starvation dieting
3. no carbs/chicken and beef only

Back to wiping up snot...

Sickies

2007-02-01T23:13:00.000-05:00

The house is full of germs! Ahhhhh!

We're all sick...watching the baby for RSV.

No exercise, but keeping with the diet.

Oh, I'm afraid to weigh myself tomorrow.

January 30, 2007

2007-01-30T22:54:00.000-05:00

2:35 pm 30 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

My Target Heart Rate

2007-01-29T12:19:00.000-05:00

Looks like I should be around 145-158 bpm when I workout.

Or 37-39 beats per 15 seconds.

January 26, 2007

2007-01-26T10:22:00.000-05:00

10:00 am 240 lbs. That's 4 lbs. since last Friday. 8 lbs. total.

Focus on: Boys' birthday parties coming up. Spring.

Don't cheat just because it's the weekend.

Self awareness

2007-01-25T15:02:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired of people judging me.

I am an excellent mother. If they only knew.

I know everyone thinks they had a "bad childhood," but damnit, I did. It freaking sucked. There was so much going on that when it was all said and done I left my "parent's" house with no life skills.

I've learned way more from my husband and his family than I ever learned from my parents. Well, let me take that back. Let's see. In the house were I grew up. I learned how to be greedy, self-centered, materialistic, judgmental, spoiled, rude, dependent, abrasive, controlling, two-faced, and the list could go on.

My 20's were spent in the real world figuring out that behavior like that just doesn't fly. I became a wife at 25-yay. I became a mother at 27 and 29 again-yay.

Now at 30, I'm working hard, and I'm going to clean up the rest of the loose ends. I am and will be a good example to my kids. Thank God I'm aware of this now while they're little rather than figure it out when they're 12 and 14 or something. When my babies are grown and ready to leave I will be sure that they had the best of me. I will be sure that they have the life skills needed to function properly, and that they will not be what I was when I left home at 18 to take on the world.

It's more than just the weight.

January 25, 2007

2007-01-25T14:45:00.000-05:00

1:50 pm 30 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

Hump Day

2007-01-24T18:38:00.000-05:00

Today has been a hectic day for me. I've not been able to exercise, and I didn't start my food journal yet like I'd planned. Will try to get some exercise after the babies get to bed. My jeans are feeling loose today. I would weigh myself, but I'm trying to do that only on Friday mornings.

January 23, 2007

2007-01-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

9:10 am 30 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

I'm confused about the calories I'm supposed to be burning. I found a calculator online. I'm still nursing my baby. And from what I've heard that's supposed to burn 500 calories a day. But it just doesn't add up. That with my exercise should be plenty of calories burned compared to what I've been eating. I didn't want to because it's such a pain, but I guess I'll have to begin a journal everything I eat. Blah.

January 22, 2007

2007-01-22T14:16:00.000-05:00

11:30 am, 60 minutes playing with son in the snow

At about 11:15 I sent my two year old into the family room to watch cartoons so I could workout. I started my Taebo tape and started feeling guilty. He kept coming back in the room and watching me. He looked bored. Earlier, he had asked to go play outside in the snow. At the time we couldn't because his brother was awake, but now he was taking his morning nap. So, I decided I'd turn off the VCR and head out with bubby. I would try and get as much exercise outside with him as I could. That's what we did. After all, he needs the exercise too.

January 21, 2007

2007-01-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

1:00 pm, 60 minutes playing with son in the snow

Friday Thoughts

2007-01-19T23:10:00.000-05:00

Working on the urge to eat just because it's the weekend.

My short term focus point is the boys' birthday parties coming up.

I need to just go to bed hungry like I used to.

January 19, 2007

2007-01-19T22:59:00.000-05:00

9:30 am 244 lbs. Ok, baby steps. 14 lbs. to get to my prepregnancy weight, and to the next size down.

January 18, 2007

2007-01-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

9:40 am 45 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

I'm really not a negative person

2007-01-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

I have such food issues.

I've only recently begun to figure out how this has happened. I've noticed how my mom treats my son. (I know, blame it on your parents, blah, blah) Every time he gets upset or is feeling bored she asks him if he wants something to eat. She does her husband the same way...actually all of the family. When it comes to my kid I have to tell her repeatedly that he has eaten or is about to eat a meal. He doesn't need anything. Or, if he's hungry he can have grapes/fruit/something healthy/you get the idea. Constantly, I'm having to do this. And she'll still slip him a cookie in the kitchen when she thinks I'm not looking. She really sees nothing wrong with it. Either that, or it's just habit.

Then, I'm over at my Grandma's house, and it's the same way. "Ooohh, he hurt himself, want some ice cream honey?" Well now what kid is gonna turn down ice cream? And what kid isn't gonna pick up on this habit very quickly? He's only two, but he's already on to them. I'm sure. We don't even keep ice cream in the house. We've managed to rid the house of junk and keep it all healthy since he started eating "big boy food."

I went and picked him up the other night after he'd been at Mom's only for a few hours. She goes, "he's been eating nonstop." Ok, I fed him before he came over. He's not hungry. Is there no time that can pass without food?

So, I'm thinking back on my history. Basically, every diet I've ever been on goes straight out the window if I get sick, hurt, go through something difficult, etc. And if I'm not on a diet at the time I just "treat" myself with something even more rich or fatty as if it's because I "deserve it."

Now, I've been around for a while-why am I just seeing this for the first time? And, AND what am I gonna do about my family?

January 17, 2007

2007-01-17T16:37:00.000-05:00

2:00 pm 30 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

Busy, busy day with the babies...

January 16, 2007

2007-01-16T14:33:00.001-05:00

1:45 pm 50 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

Having a bad day

2007-01-16T11:25:00.000-05:00

I get so mad sometimes when I have to workout. Like, really mad...pissed! I'm always grumpy when I'm on a diet, and having to exercise makes it worse. I'm exhausted! I really just want to go sleep when I get a chance to do something for myself...NOT WORKOUT! Besides, how do I even know if it's working....ugh! I'm so dang tired.

Reasons why

2007-01-15T22:19:00.000-05:00

I want to be healthier and fit..
...for my kids
...for trips to the park
...for my 31st birthday
...so I can have more energy
...for pictures
...for vacations
...for shopping trips
...so I can work hard
...so it doesn't have to be either smoke or be fat
...so I can wear my old favorite clothes
...so I can live long
...so I don't feel weird eating in public
...so I don't make myself diabetic
...so I can wear my old tank tops
...so I can borrow my husband's clothes
...so I can play with my future grandkids
...so I can wear a swimsuit
...so I can keep up with my own kids
...so I can set a good example
...at my kids' future school functions
...so I don't have to obsess about my weight
...at my husband's work parties
...so people don't make fun of me or my kids
...so I can relax a little more
...and stay that way

January 15, 2007

2007-01-15T20:52:00.000-05:00

4:20 pm 45 minutes modified taebo

January 12, 2007

2007-01-12T08:43:00.000-05:00

Oh puke. 8:45 am. 248 lbs. That's after a week of diet and exercise. I'm not giving up....just that much more work to do.

January 11, 2007

2007-01-11T23:21:00.000-05:00

2:30 pm 40 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

Ok, so here's the short version: the network has been down around here.

Basically, "modified" Taebo Advanced is my definition for--I had a couple interruptions from the kids or I fast-forwarded through some parts to get to the good parts (usually because one of the babies is crying/needs me).

I haven't been on the scale since last October when I lost 10 lbs. before going to Florida. I had way too many treats over the holidays, and I can pretty much guess I'm at 240 lbs. right now. I will weigh tomorrow morning, and we'll see for sure. Yuck!

Short history: I've done this already once before...I've lost 100 lbs. and gained it back...now we're back after having two babies in two years. BLAH! (not the babies, the weight)

More when I have time...

January 10, 2007

2007-01-11T23:20:00.001-05:00

1:30 pm 45 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

January 9, 2007

2007-01-11T23:19:00.000-05:00

1:30 pm 50 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

January 8, 2007

2007-01-11T23:18:00.000-05:00

3:30 pm 40 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

January 4,2007

2007-01-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

10pm, 30 minutes modified Taebo Advanced

January 3, 2007

2007-01-04T00:13:00.000-05:00

9:30pm, 30 minutes modified Taebo Advance